Category: Next Generation Leaders

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One End of the Stinky Stick: The unprofessional reality of ghosting

Recently I had the opportunity to apply for a position I really wanted [COO], with a Veterans Organization in San Diego.

In doing my due diligence, here is what I found:

  • Many of the past and current employees give the organization very low [I mean VERY low] ratings as a workplace on Indeed.
  • The current C-Suite, and other Executives and Managers, tried to counter the negative reviews by adding five star reviews.
  • Since the beginning or 2022, the NEWS has been filled with stories of how this organization has fallen from grace because of drug use on site and deaths [6 in this year alone].
  • The sudden resignation of a top c-suit executive [COO].
  • The loss of government organizations and others from referring clients to their services.

Knowing this, knowing all this, I knew I had the skills, experience to help “right the ship.” I opened my old, dusty CV and tried to resurrect the dinosaur and bring it into the 21st century, and I applied.

After sending CV I receive the canned response the same day from the VP of Human Resources, “Thanks, John!  I’ll forward this on to the hiring manager and will be in touch regarding next steps.  Appreciate your interest!” I thought we were off to a great start, except the next steps never appeared.

After hearing crickets for a month I decided to email the VP of HR an ask about the process, “bluh, bluh, bluh, I would like to kindly ask if you could share with me your decision timeline. bluh, bluh, bluh” – The silence was deafening.

So, I emailed the Hiring Managers [which would have been the CEO] Assistant – Crickets.

I must admit, it has been several years since I decided to send out a CV for a position. I am used to just growing in my current position or getting promoted from within. But from what I can remember, not receiving a reply to a position opening has never happened. Sometimes I would receive an email, or call, to set-up and interview, and a few times I have received the ever polite, but canned email saying,  Thanks for applying, we have decided to go in another direction – I am good with either, at least I know. But I have never been ghosted.

Since this is something new to me, I needed to do some research – it’s my nature, I need data.

Two Ends of the Stinky Stick:[i]

In my research I have found that ghosting happens on both ends of the stinky stick – employees ghosting employers, and employers ghosting perspective employees. In my mind, both are unprofessional. Even though there are two ends to the stinky stick, I am concerned with my end of the stinky stick – Employer ghosting prospective employees.

Let’s start by developing a working definition of ghosting in relationship to business. The term ghosting comes from the world of dating. It is when a person cuts off all communication with the person, and their friends, after dating, without any warning or notice before hand. So, to extend ghosting into the business world we can say, Employer ghosting is when employers, recruiters, or HR does not communicate after the original application, resume or CV, is received for a position, and ignores any attempt on the part of the applicate top communicate.

Excuses for Putting Stink of the End of the Stick

One article[ii] from Shippenburg University strives to take the pressure off the employer by sharing several points to excuse the unprofessionalism of ghosting.

  1. The organization might have done you a favor. I will give them this one.
  2. One hiring manager’s actions don’t necessarily reflect the entire organization. Yes, the hiring manager is reflective of the whole organization. Just as the actions of one used car salesperson puts shade on all used car salespeople, the individual applying for the position may only have one contact with a member of the organization, so they are the only person reflecting the values of the whole organization.
  3. This is an opportunity for growth. Don’t you just love it when the abuser tells you by them abusing you, they are helping you grow.
  4. You may not be far along enough in the process. Interesting. How about this, when you email back the applicant about receiving their information you explain the process and time frame is beyond their capability.
  5. You (or they) may have been sent to spam. What? I’ll give you the If I received spam, but not the, They received spam. If the email the supplicate received was spam, and you do not have an opening, just email the applicant and tell them.
  6. You haven’t given them enough time. See point 4.

Blaming the applicant seems to be the norm. Chris Thorne of Thorne Consulting[iii] advises job seekers to rethink what constitutes ghosting in the interview process. In his mind, by not hearing from a hiring manager, or recruiter, before it even gets to the initial phone screen, it doesn’t count as ghosting. “Understand that in the job-seeking candidate pool out there, an initial contact unresolved is not being ghosted,” he said. “So recalibrate your expectations of what … being ghosted, as a term, is in the first place.”[iv] Nothing like the sweet sounds of a Boomer sharing, the Company is always right.

Payscale.com share even more wisdom [ code for company excuses]:

  • You missed a critical instruction.
  • They’ve had unexpected budget changes.
  • They’ve hired someone internally.
  • It’s a disorganized company. This I will agree with.

None of those conditions excuse being ghosted. They may all be honest reasons, but to ghost an applicate because of them echoes the very last point in their reasoning:

You really can’t Afford to Ghost Applicants in Business.

In 2020, a survey conducted by Indeed showing employers ghosting applicants has affected 77% of applicants surveyed since March of 2020. While that is alarming, what is even more alarming is only 27% of employers say they haven’t ghosted an applicant in the past year; 73% of employers say they have ghosted applicants in the past year. This can only indicate, ghosting is becoming, or has become, a standard operating process in many employers. This will only lead to creating a disastrous candidate experience and in the days of Social Media,[v] this will affect the employers ability to hire the right people.[vi]

Be Professional: When you ghost applicants, your sharing personal business mantra “People Do Not Matter, Professionalism does not matter” Even if you have been ghosted by employees or applicants, be the professional, be the adult in the room, and show you value those who currently work with you, and those who will work with you in the future.

Be Respectful: Respect is not earned, it is given. It can be taken away, but everyone starts with 100% respect. If you see respect as something earned, you’ve lost the conversation before it started. Companies and organizations who treat people with respect, with human dignity, with respect will control the future. They will find, when you respect others, it will come back to you. 

Be Transparent: In the world of Social Media, and instant communications, direct, open, honest and transparent communication is a life changer. It’s not easy, and you may have to share some warts, in the end it is freeing and life giving.

Be the adult:

Here’s What I’ve Learned: Like it or not, ghosting has become the new normal; and I will add it completely sucks. Remember, in ALL cases ghosting is a reliable indicator of future behavior. An organization ghosting you now, IS an organization who will not value you in the future.

[i] Like the way I used “Stinky Stick” and not…. Well, you know.

[ii] Employers Ghosting Applicants | What to Do If You Don’t Hear Back – Career Center | Shippensburg University: Accessed 10/9/2022

[iii] https://thorneconsulting.com

[iv] Why Employers Ghost Job Seekers, and How to Respond (shrm.org) Accessed 10/9/2022

[v] r/recuitinghell, r/ghosting, r/jobs. Facebook, LinkedIn, Indeed, Tik Tok, and more

[vi] Employer Ghosting: A Troubling Workplace Trend (indeed.com) Accessed 10/9/2022

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Face The Strange: Changing to Meet this Generation

Are you looking for the latest amazing new program you can implement in your company to attract the next generation? After all, this generation is rather weird, an enigma dancing in a mist of wonder wrapped in the cloche of invisibility eating avocado toast; but you see them as your hope, your future, and you so want to attract them, right? You know you do, after all…

How much have you spent on books trying to learn to do just that?
How many articles have you read to understand how they think, including this one?
How many consultants have you brought into your company share their wisdom, only to realize you spent a butt load of cash, and got jack for it?

How many conversations have you had about what to do?
How many meetings have you sat through trying to figure out how you can attract new applicants for open positions?

You might’ve even thought about increasing the salaries offered; changing the house, or even offering better benefits. Heck, I bet you even thought about buying skinny jeans, a plaid shirt and a cool pair of new glasses; only to realize you’d look like a lollipop in skinny jeans and the really cool glasses won’t hold a tri-focal lens.

Well, I’ve great news for you. If you’ve been looking for that one new, amazing, vision centered program that will attract the elusive Millennials/Gen-Z by the droves, here it is:

THERE ISN’T ONE.

SNAP, who just got burned?

Think of it this way, Millennials/Gen-Zs aren’t looking for an attractive model: that, “come and see how cool we are” model died years ago. If you think you can attract the next generation with a slick ad campaign, or catchy slogan, or smooth vision statement you’re so wrong. This generation is immune to the marking games that brought older generations running to your company in years past. In fact, being slick to the next generation is like trying to run a Windows95 program on a new iMac.

So, what can you do?

Is there an answer?

Is it possible?


Before I share, let me ask you some very important questions:

Do you want to change your company?

I mean, do you truly want to change?
Are you willing to change?
I mean, are you willing to truly change everything you think about your business and vison?
Is change part of your DNA?
Are you more action than talking?

For many companies what I’m going to suggest will be hard, very hard – if not impossible. But it is not a magic pill. You need to realize this is a sum-total change. You’re either in it, or you’re not. This isn’t change based on small increments over the next five to ten years. I’m talking straight up, down and dirty change, knees on the ground change. If you try to piecemeal this, and simply try to force your old ways into new wineskins it’ll blow-up in your face.

Before I start, you need to keep in mind, this generation is not a uniformed monolithic culture. Some will think differently, but in my experience most, if not all, would agree with me.

Now, let’s see if I can shine a little light on what needs to change.

1.) You need to have an honest, open desire to change:
If there’s one thing that’ll turn off this generation, it’s your inability to change: change is part of their DNA. This generation doesn’t understand your desire to hold to the past or old traditions. They’re not tied to tradition, they’re not tied to programs, activities or events just because they’ve been done in the past. This generation is going to come-up with new, crazy, creative ideas on their own, and you need to welcome those ideas, and not shut it down. You can make all kinds of excuses as to why traditions are important, but your arguments are mute.

Many companies hold traditions so close; they miss the opportunity to do something new, something amazing – something wild. Let me be honest, if you’re not changing, you’re dying. This generation has a strong desire to change the world and if they see you’re not willing to change, you lost them.

Don’t just change to change. Listen, then change.

2.) You need to dream big:
It doesn’t matter how big, or small, your company is, if you don’t have big dreams you lost from the get-go. I’m always dismayed when a company has no dream, no vision, no connection to the future. If all your company can do is look back at the good old days, you’ll miss out on what is possible in the future, worse yet, you miss on what is happen right now, around you. Big dreams require quick moves, the ability to turn on a dime, to decide to change directions at a second’s notice. Long decision making will kill big dreams; gather the data, analyze the information, and move.

This generation is looking for your dream and the ability to be part of and implement your dream, and to add their DNA to your dream.

Without a dream, a vision, a future, you have noting for this generation to invest in. Don’t limit your dreams. Your dream needs to be big, crazy, even if it seems impossible.

3.) Don’t be afraid to fail:
Keep this as a mantra in your thinking: failing is not being a failure. This generation does not fear failure. Look at the past 25 years and see all the failure they lived through; they can find the win in failure.

No matter what, take the chance, reach out for the impossible, and if you fail – have a great party to celebrate the try, learn from it, and try again. This generation gets the idea that big dreams sometimes have setbacks, and those setbacks don’t kill the dream. If you fear failure, they will smell it on you, and run for the hills.

4.) They want a voice:
If you believe this generation will allow their age from having a set a the “grown-up table,” you’re so wrong. If your company will not invite this generation to speak their mind, they will leave and find a place, any place, where they will feel their voice will be heard.

You need to understand; this generation isn’t looking for you to empower them because they know you don’t have the power. You may have the authority, but they don’t care about your authority. Statements like, “I’m the leaders” is like pointing to the door and telling them to leave.

This generation is looking for a task, not a title; titles mean nothing. They’re looking for the freedom to do, to take on a project, to move ahead and fail or succeed. With that in mind, never micro-manage, if you do, they’ll feel like a child and they’ll leave. If you think they cannot do the task because of their age, or experience, you’ll never get them to do anything. You may see them as know it alls, but that is not how they see themselves. They see themselves as someone who wants to know more, and they want their voice to be heard.

5.) Focus on how you communicate:
A lessons I learned a while back was to ask to end every introduction, What is your preferred method of communication? If they say text, text them; if they say messenger, message; if say email, email them; if they say phone call, laugh and inform they we don’t live in the 20st century – not really – email them. Use their preferred method of communications.

How many times have you received an email with the subject line that reads, “Let’s set-up a meeting this week” only to open and find the body of the email reads, “Let’s set-up a meeting this week.”

6.) You must be 100% transparent and authentic:
For many companies this is hard, but it’s not an option. This generation values transparency and authenticity because they seldom see either. So, what does it mean to be authentic? Just be you. If you’re a 45 year-old who lives in your moms basement and likes playing Dungeons and Dragons, be that 45 year-old, don’t try to be someone you’re not. Just be you. This generation is not looking to make fun of you for who you are, and they do not want you to make fun of them who they are. Keep in mind, they’ve seen the heroes of the past fall from grace, so if you be you, they be good with it. They’re looking for real, honest, open people willing to share who they are, scars, warts  and all.

This also includes being 100% transparent. Many companies hiding behind a wall of secrets; things don’t need to be hidden. Just be honest and open with people. Being transparent and authentic goes a long way to building trust. When companies operate outside of transparency, silos are built and that will drive this generation crazy.

7.) Redefine your understanding of mentoring:
I’m willing to bet your company has a mentor program something like this: when new teammates join, they’re assigned a mentor. Usually a person of the same gender, or ethnic background, who is a manager or higher. This mentor sets up a weekly meeting [usually in their office, or breakroom] to address questions the new teammate may have. It usually lasts a year – and this is the losers way of mentoring.

This generation likes mentoring, but not the way you may think. This generation wants to learn from older generations, or long term teammates. They want to seek out people who can give them support and help to them succeed. What they’re not looking for is to be assigned a mentor. They want the freedom to ask different people the same questions and come to a conclusion on their own. They’re no looking to be told what to do, they’re looking for ideas; they seek wisdom, they seek out the sage, they’re not looking for a mom or dad to tell them what to do. If you are a manager, any level, or an executive get ready for them to knock on your door to ask a question. If they feel they are unable to ask anyone, anything… well, just look at number 6.

8.) Embrace the culture:
If your company separates itself from the outside world, you’ll never appeal to this generation. They believe most companies are pulling away from the needs of the world and living behind the fortress walls. You see, this generation is looking to engage the world around them and find ways to help. While older generations tend to be pessimistic towards the events of the world, this generation is optimistic; they want to help. If your company has no idea what’s happening around it, you’re not only missing the opportunity to help people in need, but you’re also not even seen by this generation. This generation is increasingly optimistic about the surrounding culture because they honestly want to help others.

9.) Think community, and then think community again:
Community is a non-negotiable part of this generation. They value a community that’ll move them beyond the surface issues of life and asks the hard questions we all struggle with. They aren’t looking for new drinking buddies [some are], they’re looking to be challenged. That’s not to say Social Community isn’t important to this generation, because it is.

This generation is grounded and focused by community. They know that community will challenge them to reach heights they could never reach alone. This generation want to go deeper, and they want their lives to have meaning, they believe this can only happen in a deep, authentic, community of co-workers.

10.) Think Diversity:
If, when you look around your company and all you see are people that look like you, you missed. This generation value racial, generational, gender, sexuality and socio-economic diversity. they see the narrative of life reflected when all groups can be brought together, and most are crazy enough to believe this can be accomplished. Keep in mind, this is the most racially, sexually, ethnically diverse generation ever. They see traditional boundaries as limiting who they are, and who they can become.

Closing thoughts:
If you see these as impossible, or you’re just not the person to carry out the changes needed, all is good. There is comfort in being safe, and that’s something you’ll have to work out on your own.